Tag Archives: Optimism

My State so Far

So at 3 pm yesterday, the 1st of July, the half-year bell rang.

Rating: 4/10

Highlight: Yeah this is a tough one, a bit like finding a needle in a haystack. My friends always make me smile and help take my mind off things, so I’ll go for anytime spent with friends. Mushy I know but everything else has been pretty rubbish.

Lowlight: All of the medical stuff. After a few chilled out years, everything has gone mad again. Having to recover from two surgeries in 6 months isn’t easy and the impact that they have had on my life has been pretty brutal. The first was completely my own fault but unintentional. The second was sprung on me with only 3 weeks warning, after two and a half years with no contact.

Felt: Pretty bloody depressed to be honest.

Want: A new start, today is going to be my New Year part deux, much like Hot Shots! It will be brilliant. The summer will arrive, at last, and everything will work itself out, for better or worse.

Need: The next 6 months to give some answers, or at least some clues or a crumb of information. I have never had any patience and I have spent the last 6 months waiting for too many things to happen.

Miss: Getting on with life. Before the start of this year I was fine, pain free and pretty health, or so I thought. Now I am always in pain and have discovered some pretty major health problems.

Learnt: That optimism isn’t always a good trait to hold. When you instinctively hope for the best and imagine the consequences of the best outcome, getting knocked back can take its toll. But hey I will continue to buy a lottery ticket; someone has to win.


My State on Sunday 21/52

Weekly Rating: 8/10

Highlight: getting some of my stitches out and the A-OK from hospital

Lowlight: having to sleep sitting up right. It gets old very quickly.

Felt: Optimistic about my recovery, it’s going very well but my knee is now playing up

Watched: Veep, New Girl, Modern Family, The Wire, House of Cards, Mad Men, Alpha House, The Browsers, The Onion News, Arrested Development, The Kennedys, The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest, The Babymakers, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Keith Lemon The Movie

Heard: Inform – Educate – Entertain by Public Service Broadcasting, Regardless by Thea Gilmore and Momentum by Jamie Cullum

Read: How to Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran, Soccernomics by Simon Kuper

Visited: Hospital.

Want: to be able to sleep lying down again.

Need: to find the time to watch more TV series, I won’t finish them all by the time I go back to work.

Miss: My bed

Learnt: Too much, but it all goes in the useless pile

My State on Sunday 15/52

Better late than never

Weekly Rating: 7/10

Highlight: being able to feel optimistic

Lowlight: getting carried away by my optimism

Felt: tired.

Watched: Not much really.

Heard: Delta Machine by Depeche Mode, Graffiti on the Train by Stereophonics, God Will’n by Juelz Santana, Comedown Machine by The Strokes, Sing to the Moon by Laura Mvula, Native by OneRepublic and Every Weekend by Hadouken! Basically lots of music, some good, some bad and some embarrassing to admit.

Read: The Fear Index, is finished and it is a very good book, the second half really carries you away with it, and Who Cares Wins

Visited: Work, pubs, the gym, friends and family.

Want: to find the new world.

Need: to find some energy.

Miss: when I could go out on a night out and remember the whole of it.

Learnt: I don’t like society much, to disrespect someone’s death and a family’s grieving is a pretty horrible thing to do, no matter your thoughts about their actions while alive.

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